digitalfishies (digitalfishies) wrote,

email to meagan over flora shits

Look, okay, remember that long ass "note" i posted on Facebook that you thought was about you, but it was really about MY MOM?
I JUST got back from the shore and see this by Flora: (WTF)
Because I wouldn't know any other way to be more forward because these indirects are so much more exhausting than you could ever imagine and while at first they were amusing to me they have become redundant and in retrospect to what was the silence was so much better. The dynamic of my life had never been writing and explaining to you all how and why I did what I did nope, no sir not even a little bit. But for some reason it snowballed into something all the more hypocritical then my oath to be the nicest person you would ever meet. So I can say its not the "veronicas" or even "the virgins" that make me want to write nope if anything they make me want to shimmy over to my room and have a concert because anything else would be better than this. Well actually that is a little lie but not really because I enjoy this more than you less than you but more. I'm not sure exactly when it all became a game but it was fun .

I mean because we knew it wasn't necessarily for each other and yet I would sit there and wonder. Because my little birdie told me all and at first I was mad. But how could I be mad at you what with the fact that you have such a way with words! (mmm... okay so maybe it was the fact that I love your lovely way with words. How you can make it all the more interesting than me while I use my box of 100 crayons and you only use one. Yours would be more colorful somehow, more interesting, and much more delightful to look at. Its not jealousy its envy. Because jealously is something that you want and can have and don't. but envying well that something you want but can't have so I guess its safe to say that I envy you I mean not in a creepy way. Because I'm okay with my hair and everything about me as a whole but your way with words the fact that you make everything so much more colorful than me without even trying. And so I said would it not be much more healthy to stay away and pretend that mines was the best. Well you see I considered this over and over again and I realized I can't stay away. Because as much as I want to deslike you I can't and as much as I try to stay away the more I'm drawn to you. So I should have turned and run right then and there when I found out rather than wither and stay and see. But I decided to stay because I figured that you are in someones life for one reason or another. Wether to play a possitive or negative part in their life. I know for a fact that I have met a lot of people all of which have ment something and all of which taught me more about life then I would have learned in a life time. The whole and ya ti ya ti yah...but whatever you see those people are no longer near or dear but I will never forget them. But for fear of living in regret I changed since we first met.

But who knows.. I mean this is not for one person because I love beating around the bush
and nope its not just for you its for all because there are way too many of you but if there
was one you would know it. Because you would be smiling in confusion and of amusment of
mental thoughts. It wouldn't be so much that you care or that its important because I fell that
a pomme the terre wouold be so much more than my words but whatever If there ever was a
time when venting was neede this would win.
Don't fret no problems just thoughts. just lyrics and just me...
So I will fly around in circles until my back begins to tingle..and
I will most likey keep chasing pavements.. But well i've learned
that its all about the thrill of the fall...

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